19.

He sat leaning against the cool church pillar, wrong direction, the performance was at the altar. Head in is hands, was he moved by the spirit? He rushed here, his back wet with sweat, dark blue against the light of his sleeves. It dried with the Ave Marias and Kyrie Eleison. At the very top valves, a spotlight directed dances of specks of dust and flittering winged creatures. There's no clapping in the house of God. There's no flip flops, no crying children, no crinkling cough lozenge wrappers. God will not allow it. God made rules, how else will you know your life is well deserved, your future. God reminds you of suffering, how else will you know gratitude. It is easy to confuse with fear. Pray yourself away. God is not satedby your sacrifice.